I can hardly figure out what happened to me this day. A lot of unexpected events happened.
I started my day reading His word. Excitedly opened my Bible and gladly read the words. My thought was centered on God’s promises for it was my birthday. Minute by minute, I always checked my phone, trying to look if someone greets me. I prepared myself for school afterwards. I was singing Christian songs while walking down the highways until I reached my destination. As I was about to go upstairs, my friend called my attention relaying the news that I got 1.0 in our oratorical speech in Literature 1 subject. I was so happy upon hearing her sweet words. I bid goodbye to her and started going up to the fifth floor of the building.
The class went smooth. I kept on checking my phone hoping the person I was waiting would greet me a happy birthday. Before the class dismissed, I received a text message from my friend. The message was: “guys, please pray for the soul of Sir Hornachoz.. he died this morning…tnx…wala na adviser xa batingaw!” (Sir Hornachoz was my best buddy in high school, I used to be with him most of my time) The text message and that someone who failed to greet me spoiled my good mood. I even forgot it was my birthday. After getting that news, I couldn’t think well anymore. After the class, I proceeded to the publication office.
Pretending to be okay, I conversed with my friends there as if nothing happened. I was not in mood to take my lunch or do something. I turned on the radio and began listening to Christian songs trying to ease the load I was carrying. As I expected, nothing has changed. I took a seat and slept in the table. Because I was not comfortable, I transferred to the other side and had a very good position there.
I woke up past one o’clock in the afternoon. I lost my appetite to eat but still I forced myself to eat lunch. Then I went to pub. and stared blankly to nowhere. For almost 4 hours, I just stayed inside. It was unusual for me for I was not like that before. My mind that time went dry. My thought was consumed with nothingness. I couldn’t think of something progressive. Nothing. Nothing.
***
I was not hungry but I took my dinner at around 6pm (Another unusual for me because I practiced to take a dinner by 9-10pm. ) I went back to publication office to write an article “I need a hug”. Still, I hardly finished the article. I gazed at the monitor for 30 minutes. Little by little, I started typing words. It took me one hour to finish it. Then, rain poured down. Unusually, I reacted nothing. (Another unusual for me for I easily got mad when rain pours). There were three of us inside the pub. When we decided to leave, we went to carenderia for a dinner. Guess what I did? I took a dinner. This is really bad because I forgot that I already took my dinner at 6 pm. Without hesitation, I ordered my food, and so were they.
I dunno what exactly happened to me this entire day. I was not tired. I was just empty-as in empty like a bottled water without a drop of water to give. I didn’t have the chance to smile today, even a second of laugh- a true smile and unforced laugh. Right now, I still couldn’t think well. Answer me: Am I crazy?
It was my birthday but I did not celebrate it. I thought, to celebrate birthday is not to celebrate it. I was all alone all day-I was not with my real friends, real family. Yes, I read His words but, experiencing this situation, I came to think God was not also with me.
In the middle of thin air, I was able to think well even a little. And that is expressing my experiences through this crazy thing.
***
I logged in to tumblr. Unexpectedly, the Planetshaker’s song BURN was playing. I then realized, no matter what kind of situation I experienced this day, God is still with me. It was not a crazy day at all, it was a burning day :)
I started my day reading His word. Excitedly opened my Bible and gladly read the words. My thought was centered on God’s promises for it was my birthday. Minute by minute, I always checked my phone, trying to look if someone greets me. I prepared myself for school afterwards. I was singing Christian songs while walking down the highways until I reached my destination. As I was about to go upstairs, my friend called my attention relaying the news that I got 1.0 in our oratorical speech in Literature 1 subject. I was so happy upon hearing her sweet words. I bid goodbye to her and started going up to the fifth floor of the building.
The class went smooth. I kept on checking my phone hoping the person I was waiting would greet me a happy birthday. Before the class dismissed, I received a text message from my friend. The message was: “guys, please pray for the soul of Sir Hornachoz.. he died this morning…tnx…wala na adviser xa batingaw!” (Sir Hornachoz was my best buddy in high school, I used to be with him most of my time) The text message and that someone who failed to greet me spoiled my good mood. I even forgot it was my birthday. After getting that news, I couldn’t think well anymore. After the class, I proceeded to the publication office.
Pretending to be okay, I conversed with my friends there as if nothing happened. I was not in mood to take my lunch or do something. I turned on the radio and began listening to Christian songs trying to ease the load I was carrying. As I expected, nothing has changed. I took a seat and slept in the table. Because I was not comfortable, I transferred to the other side and had a very good position there.
I woke up past one o’clock in the afternoon. I lost my appetite to eat but still I forced myself to eat lunch. Then I went to pub. and stared blankly to nowhere. For almost 4 hours, I just stayed inside. It was unusual for me for I was not like that before. My mind that time went dry. My thought was consumed with nothingness. I couldn’t think of something progressive. Nothing. Nothing.
***
I was not hungry but I took my dinner at around 6pm (Another unusual for me because I practiced to take a dinner by 9-10pm. ) I went back to publication office to write an article “I need a hug”. Still, I hardly finished the article. I gazed at the monitor for 30 minutes. Little by little, I started typing words. It took me one hour to finish it. Then, rain poured down. Unusually, I reacted nothing. (Another unusual for me for I easily got mad when rain pours). There were three of us inside the pub. When we decided to leave, we went to carenderia for a dinner. Guess what I did? I took a dinner. This is really bad because I forgot that I already took my dinner at 6 pm. Without hesitation, I ordered my food, and so were they.
I dunno what exactly happened to me this entire day. I was not tired. I was just empty-as in empty like a bottled water without a drop of water to give. I didn’t have the chance to smile today, even a second of laugh- a true smile and unforced laugh. Right now, I still couldn’t think well. Answer me: Am I crazy?
It was my birthday but I did not celebrate it. I thought, to celebrate birthday is not to celebrate it. I was all alone all day-I was not with my real friends, real family. Yes, I read His words but, experiencing this situation, I came to think God was not also with me.
In the middle of thin air, I was able to think well even a little. And that is expressing my experiences through this crazy thing.
***
I logged in to tumblr. Unexpectedly, the Planetshaker’s song BURN was playing. I then realized, no matter what kind of situation I experienced this day, God is still with me. It was not a crazy day at all, it was a burning day :)
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